Handling a pet that your parent hates

Here’s the thing, i’ve always been somewhat of a dog person at heart, so when the family dog ran away (or at least that’s what i was told), i spent my time pining that he would one day come back, until finally, i decided to get another dog of my own. He and i had our issues at first, but as the years went by, he became a very close part of my life, one that i came to be very accustomed to. So, when he died, i was truly upset. I got another dog to carry on, but now, that very same canine is suffering the same issue that the previous one had: everyone else hating him, particularly my mother. My last dog was kind of energetic and not very obedient, which caused him to do two things that made my sister and mother hate him for life. He did a few bad things to me a few times, but for some reason, i don’t hate him for that, i might have said that i hated at the times, but that was purely out of anger. However, my mother and sister both hated him, plain and simple, and were both quick to point out his faults at any given time. I’d be lying if i said i didn’t see their points, but i’m assuming that it’s my “Dog person” nature that keeps me from seeing him in the same bad light.

My new Dog has quite a few flaws himself, and just like his predecessor, they have placed him on the “List” of my sister and mother, they both hate him now, and for while, i didn’t really care about that. But yesterday, my dog crossed a new line with my mother, he tore down a fence that she put up in the dog runner and she decided, right then and there, that she wasn’t going to be nice to him anymore. She said that she wasn’t going to give him any more extra food, or any more water (he shares the dog runner with her dog) (not a good thing, considering it’s summer), but most of all, she said that if my dog dies, i’m not allowed to bury him in the backyard like i did with my last dog.

I’m at a total loss right now, i can (more or less) deal with her not liking my dog, i can even deal with her not giving him any extra food. But no water during the summer? That sounds like hatred beyond forgiveness, my mother even called my dog a menace, she also said a few things regarding the matter about me when i said “I wonder if I’ll ever have dog that she likes”, but i’ve all but forgotten them. And the sad truth is, i saw some of the points she made, my dog does have a lot of issues about him, which actually made me want to go outside and train my dog to listen. I guess i was hoping that, like my last dog, this mutt would settle down as he got older and eventually become more docile (i initially wanted a dog that just laid around and did nothing).

But what really bothers me is the fact that my mother has forbidden me from burying my new dog in the backyard when he dies. I did this when my last dog passed away, so if my new one goes too, i’m not sure what i’ll do. This somewhat adds on to an earlier grievance i had with my mother when she was putting up a swimming pool, she wanted to put cement over my dog’s grave and just put a plaque over it, but i was against it, it just didn’t feel right. I mean, if it were a human, then she’d have been against too, but since it’s a dog, she basically thought that i wouldn’t mind. Eventually, we settled on putting up a fence around the grave, but still, the fact that she was willing to ask me to do this for the sake of a pool that i likely wouldn’t even use just makes me feel a bit upset.

Has any of this ever happened to anyone else?

I don’t own any pets because I feel they require a lot of responsibility.

Put your new dog in your mom’s car if it dies. Sounds like she almost deserves it. Hell, she may even cause its own death.

Sounds like your dog is better off being rehomed to a family where all of the family love him and want him safe. Unfortunately this doesn’t seem the case in your home, to be totally honest I would never bring home a dog into a family where even one member couldn’t stand the dog, it isn’t fair to them and it isn’t fair to the dog. I remember living at home with my parents and wanting a cat soooo badly, my parents were dead set against it so we didn’t own one, I thought it was extremely unfair but as I am older now I realize forcing someone to live with a pet they aren’t going to care for in their home is what’s unfair.

I own 5 beautiful Pomeranians (I found out I’m not really a cat person), but I also am a business owner and home renter and live alone with the occasional friend visiting. My home is kept spotless and the dogs come to work with me but its a huge responsibility and shouldn’t ever be someone else’s if you are the one person who wants the dog. Sounds to me like she would be primarily responsible for the dog’s well being some days if you mentioned the dog is kenneled with the other dog and requires her to water it, that’s what I mean about being a pet owner, no one else who doesn’t want the pet should have to be responsible. I know it’s easy to make her look like the bad guy here but it sounds like the dog is causing property damage as well breaking down fencing costs money and having to give the dog food or water is an extra task she probably hates doing knowing the dog is costing her.

You brought him home to a situation that wasn’t ideal its up to you to keep him safe, if that is going to be a problem and you love the dog (as I’m sure you do) I would adopt him to a family where he will be well loved and taken care of. I would wait until I got my own place if I were you. It is cruelty if she is going to allow him to suffer in the heat and go without food, unfortunately I see it all the time working with dogs where their kids bring home pets the parents don’t want and the dog winds up dead due to neglect, please get that dog out of that situation ASAP.

Well, it finally happened, my dog is finally hanging by a thread. Once again, he tore down my mother’s fence in the dog runner and now, if he does so again, my mother plans to get rid of him on the spot, along with her dog as well. Based on the way she said it, i think it’s a safe bet that she won’t allow me to get a new dog if this happens. Now, it looks like i might have try a new approach when letting him outside, now it appears that i’ll have to let out in the dog runner, stay outside and watch him to make sure that he goes to the bathroom and then bring him back inside, all just to make sure that he doesn’t wind up on the streets. I see my mother’s points in this regard, but at the same time, part of me keeps saying that this whole thing could have been avoided if my mother would stop buying all of this new fancy stuff in her attempts to make the house look nice.

Sounds like you need to find a new home for your dog. Your doggie is probably sensing the negative feelings and acting on it. Some dogs, according to the breed or mix of breeds demonstrate high energy. You don’t mention what kind of dog he is. Working breeds need a job to expend their energies. Acting-out is one path and also one way to gain the top dog spot. Until you have your own place, you’ll probably need to wait on being a dog owner again.